Why females?

Shail of Shail's nest shared a link on Facebook, a blogpost at Gender Bytes, and on reading it, it did set me thinking. If education and economics are not the reason for this incessant purging of females, then what is? Is it a feeling of responsibility, or is it the expense factor which eats them up?

Does a parents not feel any responsibility towards a son? They do not care what happens to him? Why is it so different for a girl? I feel the entire family respect which lies on the feet of a girl is where no family is ready to take on the responsibility and stand up for the girl to do as they please. I think the same stigma is attached to even homosexuals. A son, who is a homosexual is also seen in the same light, as per me, tarnishing their ever great family respect. But, the forever yearning for a son will never change, however wonderful and successful a daughter they have.

Then comes the expense of a girl, predominantly speaking, its not her education which matters to them, rather it is the dowry and wedding expenditure which swoons in front of their eyes. But, why do they forget that they themselves are the reason for this stupendous expense. There are communities int he world where a marriage/ wedding is taken up as the responsibility of the couple at hand, not the parents. The expenses are shared between the to-be-couple, and both parents contribute a small amount what they see fit for the occasion. I think this in a way helps to eliminate the prejudice against a girl child. But, this kind of responsibility can be handed over to the bride and groom, only if the parents see their children as adults who can take decisions and organize to their liking.

So where does the problem truly lie?

Image Source: http://crimeanddeviance.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/10/656009_f5202.jpg

Child brides of Afghanistan

Here is the video released by the Human Rights Commission after the government has not be able to do anything worthwhile or take any action against these criminals. 

"I was shocked when I watched the video," said Mohammed Munir Khashi, an investigator with the commission. "I thought in the 21st century such a criminal incident could not happen in our country. It’s inhuman, anti-Islam and illegal."

If an investigator thinks that this is the first time it is happening, I am not sure what he is investigating! Why does he think the policemen at Herat return these two girls to be hands of the waiting warlord? Did they think they were doing something completely human, or completely in line with Islam preachings?

And now it seems there is another option too to threaten these girls with - forcing them to be suicide bombers

Sumbol, 17, a Pashtun girl, said she was kidnapped and taken to Jalalabad, then given a choice: marry her tormentor, or become a suicide bomber. “He said, ‘If you don’t marry me I will put a bomb on your body and send you to the police station,’ ” Sumbol said.

Forced marriage of Afghan girls is not limited to remote rural areas. In Herat city, a Unicef-financed women’s shelter run by an Afghan group, the Voice of Women Organization, shelters as many as 60 girls who have fled child marriages.  

Cruelty to children: Child marriage in Yemen

I have been reading about Elham Madhin al Assi, a 12-year-old Yemeni girl who died from internal bleeding just three days after her March 29th wedding to a man who is a minimum twice her age. And this happened as part of a bride swap, where in the brother of the bride marries the sister of the groom, and this happens irrespective of the age of concerned individuals. I do not know what to feel when I see something like this.  Elham Madhin al Assi's mother is said to have told reporters, that the criminal killed her. What criminal? What did you expect? A man who is marrying a 12 year old is marrying her to shower her with dolls!!! I wonder if she is really bothered with her daughter not being alive anymore, and does she feel any remorse of what she did? Or even better, did she have a say in the matter? Maybe I am being too harsh on her, and the mother's role is just to explain to the daughter what is expected of her, and that sex is a subset of marriage, so please oblige!

This custom has been there since ages, and it is said to be acceptable as per Islam, where a parent has the right to determine when their children ( read daughters) are ready for marriage! It is also said that one main reason for the girls to be married off early is that, in many cases young girls are abducted and married by force, which leaves their parents not knowing their whereabouts ever again. The average age of marriage in Yemen’s rural areas is 12 to 13, a recent study by Sana University researchers found, and even more shocking is that the country has one of the highest maternal mortality rates in the world. And, I am sure that the mothers are also of the age group,  12 - 15 years.

How many of these kids can be expected to come out of their captive, abusive, illegal marriages and say that they want to study, and lead a life different from what they have been forced into without being asked. They are children, and not many of the children I see have it in them to stand up and say I shall not do this or to ensure that they are not made to do something which they are not interested in, especially when done so by their parents itself. Children see parents as the ones they trust the most, and believe, then how can they expect that a marriage, even if done without their consent, can be a disastrous life changing turn in their lives? Isn't it cruel to push them towards something which has seen only bad days, and to top it when they trust you so much!?