A Speed Post story

Today, I witnessed something which made me realize how important a good public education system is and how much that very system is lacking in India.

I had gone to the Post Office to send out a Speed Post package, and I was in queue waiting for my turn. Ahead of me, was a office errand boy holding two envelopes and some cash. He also had an office ID card with a company monogrammed neck strap; it said Social Alpha. Just before his turn, he checked with the counter whether he needs to write 'Speed Post' on the envelope and he was informed 'Yes'.

Now, he was visibly uncomfortable and slowly took out a pen from his pocket and proceeded to write on the envelope. He slowly put down SEEBD. And then he looked at it again and put the pen back. In a second, he again took out his pen and wrote a P.

So, now it was PSEED.

All this while I was standing right behind him and watching, waiting for my turn. When I saw PSEED, it just triggered a thought in my mind. This is what T would do when she misses a letter in her word. But, she usually puts the letter above or below the word at the right position. And here was a man of 25-26, who was doing pretty much the same thing. She was just going to start Class 1, and she has been trying to get words together, and read stuff and write them too, at times.

This incident just made me realize, the problem is pretty much at the start of the education system, for all those who are with the public system in this country. This person has not been given the right guidance from such a young age, and how can we expect them to work towards any professional degree where language is treated as a given. But, I was happy to note that he could get himself to spell, and correct his mistake too.

Yet, I don't know what hope lies for the people of India if a basic education is not even a given.

Child brides of Yemen

Child brides don't talk about it, but they suffer. A recent study in Yemen has shown that girls who have their rights taken from them in this way do not forgive their parents, and there is a breakdown of family relationships.

Back in 2010, I had come across a video on child brides of Afghanistan. And now, in 2014, things do not look very different. Why are these young girls, some even as young as 10 years forced into marrying men who are old and sometimes as old as their grandfathers!

Is this a way to ensure the women in the society do not ever gain independence, do not ever speak up in front of the men. I am sure that such small children are so scared of these men that they are forever silenced from voicing their opinion. Here is a voice of one odd woman, a doctor, on the child brides of Yemen.

...... girls under 15 are five times more likely to die giving birth.

But, who cares, right? Who bothers about their safety!

Too often girls have no voice, no choice, no access.

Speaking up...

Is it wrong to wish for something in this new year looking at all the wrongs that have been about the last year?

Does talking about the wrongs against women make you a feminist?

 Recently, I had a conversation with B about feminism. This is a topic which has come up many times during our discussions and he believes that I look at all men with suspicion and never tend to give them a iota of benefit of doubt. The conversation in question came up after he read a status update on my Facebook timeline from a friend, who said she hoped this year will be better for women, and that women all over would become stronger and arise from the shackles which bind them.

He was of the opinion that if the women feel shackled, why should that be a matter of concern for men. They have not shackled them, then why blame men for it. And he feels that this is demeaning to many men that women write them off in such a bad manner. He feels that if women have it in them to become equals and do what they wish, then they should. Why associate it with men in anyway, as an enabler or a deterrent?

My take was that with regard to the statement, when there is so much going on in this world where women are at the receiving end, then why wouldn't those women who can speak up without being afraid to do that for those who can not. This does not mean that the women treat all men to be the same, but there is a certain caution which is associated with men in general after hearing about all these situations. Why shouldn't we help them in any which way we can? This might give someone the strength to fight and more importantly stand up. He was of the opinion why speak up then; if you wish to help, go out and help. That statement was received with a frown on my face, so that line of conversation was stopped.

Then it was why are all women feminists, and trying to uplift or speaking up only for women. He believes that giving mutual respect and independence is what feminism should be all about. This would be a valid point for not just women, but in essence, this is what he sees humanism as. I agree with it completely, but is our society at the juncture to accept something like this? I doubt it.

Do we see mutual respect and independence for so many people around us? There are people I know who have been so accustomed to having everything being done for them, now when they want/have to do something by themselves, it seems to be difficult, or rather more like they have forgotten how to do it. One of the things I really appreciate in B is that he pushes me to get out and do my own stuff. I usually complain and try to avoid it, but I know that he is doing it for my very own good. And I really appreciate it when I look back at the situation after the said situation has passed.

As a reader, do you think there is really any use of online activism? Or is it just for the noise ?

Cellphones... mobile phones and such

Thinking back to 2001, and the very first mobile phone which I had... it was a Nokia, something which looked like the one below. I was given this when I first went to the hostel, and I used to keep it switched off almost all through. Never carry it, just keep it locked in the cupboard and use it to call my parents or receive calls just before I head to bed. I did not know what was the model number, in fact I did not even know that there were model numbers for different phones.

The life of this phone was certainly short lived, as within 6 months into college, I wanted to get another phone, one which would at least fit in my hand and could also be shoved into jeans pockets. This certainly was not working in that respect.

 My next phone was a Siemens C35i which was gifted to me on the happy occasion of coming home after surviving 6 months in college and still deciding to head back after a month long break at home. I think parents really thought they needed to keep in touch with me and figure out how I was managing.

This was one of the sturdiest phones which I have come across. From those times in 2002, I think I had a penchant for dropping mobile phones and it was an almost weekly affair which I am talking about. The battery used to come out, sometimes the body used to get ever so slightly nicked, but there was never a time when the phone stopped working with all these small drops ( as I would call it). Falling is something which is far more serious and that is also something which did come about , finally causing the demise of this loyal partner.

So when did this phone fall down? As I was coming down the stairs of my institute building after a lecture on the 8th floor. The phone was in my hand along with books ( not in the jeans pocket as it was to be) and it slipped and fell through the hollow space of the spiral stairway. I still remember the sharp draw of breath around me, and I rushed down, as fast as I could through 6 flights of stairs, to receive my phone in a similar way after the numerous drops. The battery was dislodged, there were many dents and I prayed hard as I inserted the battery and tried in vain to power it up. The phone never switched on after that, and I was left thinking what shall I tell my parents after a year of usage.

Next up in 2003, I decided to get a phone as it was something I had gotten used to, and my parents had agreed that I could go and pick up what I wanted. So, I went ahead and picked up a Sony Ericsson T105.

This was to be a long standing relationship which i was to have with Sony Ericsson. I loved the clean look of this phone and I did not think that there would be anything else I would want in a long time.

Little did I know that there are some forces which never really work for me and phones! In another year, I was travelling in an autorickshaw and this phone was in my 'pocket'. But, as I slipped out of after the ride, the phone also conveniently slipped out of my pocket. I still it was a pair of burgundy trousers, with a small pocket which fit the phone very snug. So, it slipped out, and I never really laid my eyes on this beauty again. I was completely heart broken. I really did love this phone as it was something which was my choice.  Here again, my parents grudgingly agreed to let me pick another phone, and in my mind I had decided I shall pick another Sony Ericsson.

Now with the changing times, the new fad in 2004 was clamshell, or flip phones. The whole generation was set on flipping open the phone and taking a call. And that is exactly what I went looking after. I decided to get a Sony Ericsson Z300i in Granite Grey. This was the phone I believe I used for a really long time. I liked the phone, it was conveniently sized and was again very sturdy in terms of my frequent drops.

I used this phone for a good 1.5 years and the keys started to wear off. The paint was peeling and the keys were also being non responsive after all the usage. I was glad that this was not a phone which was to spoil or be lost, but well used. I believe my parents also thought this was certainly an improvement in my usage and care of my phone. They decided that now I could be gifted another phone. This time they told me to make a pick and see what is that I wanted when they visited me next year. This led to a flurry of activity with my friends, all armed with desktops, would search for a really nice phone. And after a long search I told my parents what I wanted and they said I shall have it for my birthday.

So, in 2006, I got the Nokia 7373, which was pretty much the only swivel phone I have ever seen in my life. I think this was the most beautiful phone Nokia ever shipped out of their factory. The phone was a dream and with no OS complications and all, I decided to trade loyalties with Sony Ericsson and move to this beauty.

This was the phone which I came with to work at my first job. I loved this phone to bits and I do not think I would have changed it, unless I was again faced with a dash of bad luck. I was off to have a biryani on a sunday night in bangalore, and as I stepped out of B's car, the phone slipped out of my hand and on the street. I think it was on my lap and when I stepped out, I did not realize it had fallen. We had the  biryani before I shrieked at my realization. But by then, the streets were all clear with no trace of my beauty. I still love the look of this phone and I think it shall be the beauty which I shall cherish the most on this list.

Losing this phone was a huge blow and my parents very clearly told me as you are a earning person, buy your phone and take care of it. So, there I was on a search for a phone in 2008. I did my web research and I landed myself back with a Sony Ericsson, a S500.

I was trying to find a beautiful phone, similar to something I lost, and in those times, this was the best I could come up with. This was again a phone which still sits in my bottom drawer. It functions, you can make calls, though there are some dents which are only too obvious. I used this phone also for a good 2 years before I decided that I need to change this phone. Here again, the keys had worn off and some keys were not functioning.

As I said, I am a Sony loyalist and I did again turn to another Sony Ericsson. This was the time they had got out their Xperia series and the whole new deal in 2010 was touch screen phones. I was not too sure about a touch screen and hence got a Xperia X10 mini pro. This was again one of those really short lived phones.

T was born in 2011 and she decided that it would b a teether of sorts with smooth edges and me being a newbie mother, had no clue what would truly work for a phone with regard to baby saliva, and lots of it. The phone started giving me trouble in just about year and I do not think this was dropping or over usage. I guess this was more like dropping the phone in water, or maybe sprinkling water on it many times. Anyhow, by the end of a year, I was done with trying and I decided to move on to another phone. This was again catalyzed by the software upgrade which also resulted in the phone being really slow.

At this point, I decided I did not want anything expensive and went and got a Samsung galaxy Y, which was in budget, but the on screen keypad was a deal breaker. I hated it completely.

It certainly played the part very well, but it was really slow too, and maybe I was a bit spoilt too!

This ended in me being frustrated and come my birthday I decided it was time for a new phone. This time yet again it was to be a Xperia. And learning from experience I decided to go for a Xperia Go which was said to be rugged, water and dust proof. I was thrilled with  the prospect that this phone might just outlast all my other ones. And I also got this one in a cherry yellow, which certainly helped the matter.

This phone was a beauty, loved it completely and had me hooked to it and I almost was becoming a less and less a laptop user. My Mac was bearing the brunt of it all.. I was not charging it and so on. And then I dropped the phone and the screen cracked! There that was the end of it all. Now I had a phone which was defective. I got the screen changed, but then the screen again started giving me issues, and I could also see some dust particles which had gotten inside, or the small break in the casing was causing it. But either way, I was back to being without a phone.

Then a friend offered his Samsung Galaxy S II and I thought, let me try this next. I will use it till I decide what is going to be my next move.

As for this phone, I think it is really too big. Fast and good no doubt, but just too huge. I do not know if this is something I will ever want. I find it so difficult to push into my pocket, or even my handbag interior pockets. But if you love to carry it about in your hand, it works like a wallet and thats just fine.

I am still not sure which phone will I buy next, and iPhone is on the cards, but lets see. At least they have a good customer service and warranty! That should really work for me. Till then…

All images have been linked to their sources.

3 days.

In 3 days, will be a milestone for me after a really long time.

Turning 30 is something which felt far away a few years back, and today it is right here.

I have been thinking what is it that I can do to keep this year special. When I came across Orange jammies Turning Five, Birthday giveaway, I felt this is what I would love to do to remember this year too. Last year, on my birthday I made a contribution to Save the Children and the year before that I made a contribution to CRY India. Those two contributions felt more of only a monetary help which I was extending, but this time I thought I would like to make the effort and do something different.

Shishu Mandir, was a children's home which I recently visited to drop off some of T's clothes, toys and other things. I was awed at the work they were doing and the one feeling which I got was the individuals involved with them were doing in true spirit and they deserve all the help they can get. So, for this birthday I have decided that I shall add Rs.100 for every comment on this post to a base amount which I have decided to contribute to them. And as its a children's home, I intend to coordinate with them and order a host of item which they need. This way I can ensure that they get it at the best possible rates and they get these items at the earliest. They are not located very centrally, so many items might prove difficult for them to procure elsewhere. Apart from all this, I think I would feel wonderful that I could do something rather than making another x amount contribution.

So, as I said, for every comment on this post till midnight (IST), August 10, 2013, I shall be contributing Rs. 100 to the kitty which shall go towards buying necessary items for Shishu Mandir.

Now, go ahead, leave that comment! Play your part :)

Astrology & Palmistry : A science? Really?

Astrology is something I am so dicey about believing and lets also include palmistry, when anyways at it. My family believes in the former, not the vehement kind, but they still do. I know they would consult an astrologer to find out whether the day/time is right for a particular act, and as always all marriages have been proceeded with only with an astrologer's approval. When I was dating B, one of the things which I did was use this software called Kundli Pro so that I know whether ours like a never to be match. I knew that as long as it was not so, things will work out fine at least on that front. The rest would be a fight to be fought and won, but that shall remain another post. In spite of all that, I still do not believe in it. I do not think that someone or for that matter, a software will be able to tell me whether I shall be compatible with another being. On what basis does it do that? I do not know. If you say astrology is a science, then why are human beings so unpredictable? Why doesn't answers for irrational behaviour also arise from this science? The reason I did the horoscope match with B was just so that I had one more ammo with me to fight my case.

After our marriage, many a times my FIL has asked me,
" What would you have done in case the horoscopes did not match at all? "
My answer to this has been, " In case they did not match, I would just have to fight another cause, which is how astrology is just crap and how I do not believe and neither do I wish to know what it has to say about my life!"
To this, he always laughs and says, " Life is not so simple."

At times, I wonder what would be the turn of events if our horoscopes did not match, I do not know. Another deal in which the astrologer helped us was in telling my parents that under any circumstance, I would not have an arranged marriage. I will marry on my own accord, and hence, these horoscopes as they match would be a good way to go ahead. Now, I wonder why or if there is any truth in what he had to say. I do not know. In fact there was a time when I was more subdued and in for an arranged match, then I do not know what came over me. Well, maybe that was LOVE, I do not know. I will never know, but there was a will in me to fight. And I did fight for close to 6-8 months before anything worthwhile happened. And by worthwhile I mean, parents just agreeing to meet so that it should start off something to the procedure.

So if you ask me if my marriage was because of astrology/the astrologer helping me out? I am guessing so, but would I have done something to change things up in case the astrology/astrologer decided not to help? I think so, for sure. I would have got down to just sitting put and waiting, if nothing else worked!

And then after marriage, there was a palmist who told me I should just have a kid and then things will all be good. Also, that the kid would certainly clear my thoughts and I will know what my life's calling was! Big Big Words I must say! And me, I went ahead and had a kid, well yes, by mistake, but has all been good after that. No No. I have had so much trouble getting into this groove and even now I am just trying to juggle things about so that I get time to start on doing the things which I want to do. I do not think life has become simpler after becoming a mother, certainly more complicated.  Where did my time disappear and when did my house change ever so much. That is certainly not something which I would call simplifying life. B, would have a completely different take on it. He would be about how everything is away in its place and how Tee has brought about a more organized me in return. And, I am sure he would even say that its certainly the better me! Yes, I know its better, but that has made my life complicated. That is not the way I am used to being. I am used to doing things as I please and that certainly does not happen with a kid. Everything has to be planned, to the extend you need to plan and slot a time for a bath! Now, I do not think that palmist knew his job, I do not know what was the meaning of saying life would fall into place, mine certainly HAS NOT!

CSAAM April 2011

This post is written as part of the Child Sexual Abuse Awareness Month Initiative

Last year April, CSA 2011 opened by eyes to something which I thought happened only very rarely. But, it did happen to me. And through that month, I realized it has happened to so many people, and by those whom you take to be family, trust and love. I realized its so difficult to watch out for, so difficult to digest. 

I was 4 or 5 years old when a cousin brother groped me. At that young age, I did not even know why it happened; we were just playing ' House'. Now I know this is the most dangerous game to play with a mixed age group of children. And in my case, I was just playing with this said cousin brother as he was the one who was back from school early. This incident did leave an impact on me, as I started avoiding him, and even now when I speak to him, this is the most clear thought which plays in front of my eyes. I do not know whether he realizes that I do remember; but, he does not show any qualms in talking with me. I have never ever picked on it, but have just been cautious. 

Then, when I was 10 years old, we were visiting a family friend's place. The uncle's dad was staying with them for a few months, and he would have been 70 odd years. From the moment I stepped into the house, he was sitting next to me, hounding me with questions and asking me about what I do apart from school and such. At first, I thought he was genuinely interested in a child, but after some time I started to become uncomfortable when he kept his hand on my knee and I was wearing a skirt, so his hand was partially on the skirt and on my skin. I tried to move my leg but he would not remove his hand. Then, he asked me to come inside his room and take a sweet, to which I replied I do not like sweets, but he persisted and then my mom said, " Just go and take a sweet." I reluctantly went to get the sweet. Once in the room, he gave me the sweet and planted a kiss on my lips. I was shocked, disgusted and just turned and walked out quickly and went to sit next to my mom. For the next 2 days, I was dreading that I was going to be pregnant, with the limited knowledge I had about babies. 

Now looking back at these incidents, I know how disgusted I felt with myself for what happened, but in the second case I knew it was not my fault, but nevertheless, I felt disgusted with myself.

Today, as a mother to a 11 month old girl, I am so unsure what I should be doing. I was a working woman, but now I just do not know whether I will ever be able to get back to work, get back to work fully wherein I would be required to work as per the company norms, and not to my comfort. Does this have anything to do with a fear of my daughter's safety? Yes, it does. 

I wish for my daughter a place where I know she can grow to be independent, brave and smart. Creating that space is not a simple task, and as I see it, leaving her in the safety of her home is not a very great solution with the number of people who come to the door and there is so much which a nanny can do to take care. And, it takes just a fraction of a second to hurt a child, physically and mentally. To shatter her confidence and doubt herself. It makes it even more difficult to trust someone else to care and protect your child as much as family. And when do you know who will break the trust? 

Some of the reasons why CSA goes undetected are:

1. There are so many myths which surround CSA and hence awareness is the key. Knowing your enemy is the only way you can prevent any harm. 

2. In many cases, we do not believe that CSA is/ might be a factor to watch for in the society, community, country we live in. But, none of this is true. CSA can happen to any child and it is just a matter of chance for the perpetrator. So, as a parents we need to be cautious at all times. For which, we need to believe and know this is a truth and no MYTH. This I say, as many adults I know casually pass comments like.. this doesn't happen in our circles… but then it happened to me, and I am in this circle. 

3. The child is seen to be the one who has done something wrong to result in the abuse. This is one of the most dangerous idea to put into a small child's head.

4. And, the most important one, the abuser is usually someone the child knows, which means as a parent, you can prevent it. 

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A (bride) woman for 30,000 rupees

Violence against women has opened my eyes to the unthought acts of violence against women by human beings. One of the posts had caught my attention then, and I was also looking at the possible reasons behind why this is something which is resorted to. Why violence against women? Is it because women are seen as weak, easy to overpower...

Quoting a price for a woman, to sleep with, or to marry is I believe certainly a violence. A violence against women and human beings. Being a commodity and having no value for one and being compared to livestock is certainly a emotional violence as per me. 

As I researched about this, I came across many videos on Youtube, and I realized that violence against women is a major concern in most developing economies, but when it comes to female infanticide, I am not sure any country has seen the kind of numbers that India has been seeing in these years. And after female infanticide, men have the spine to go to other communities, where girls are not seen as as an fetus to destroy, and buy brides for themselves when it comes to satisfying their carnal pleasures and to ensure a progeny. Why don't these men resort to satisfying each other, as its a choice their kind made to eliminate females as they seemed to be a waste of time, a burden and so on. 

I think no community should sell their daughters to anyone for money. But, whom am I saying this to. A parent might think that, it would be a better option to give their daughter to another community as a wife, than sell her to prostitution. That it what I think would be the thinking when money is the most important necessity for many. It is difficult to understand the mentality, when we are not in that kind of a situation. 

I frankly do not know what is the solution to this.

Menstrual Blood Banking

During my pregnancy, there was a time when we had to decide whether we wanted to save the cord blood to extract stem cells and ensure some amount of disease cure for our child. At that time, I felt that with around 30 years ahead of us for that, I am not too sure whether these stem cells can not be obtained by then in some other manner. So, I decided at that time not to bank my cord blood and not to choose to preemptively extend my and Trisha's life. And, today a friend send me this link.

Menstrual blood is said to have the same cord blood properties and women can choose to store this blood at any time, to use at a further point in time. And this is also seen as less controversial in terms of ethics and such in comparison to embryonic stem cells.. And this is not a blank trial, there has been menstrual blood stem cells used to differentiate to nerve cells in vitro and treat strokes, so there is really a use in doing this procedure.

One statement which struck me as weird in the article was that the author says at the end of it all.

Lots and lots of details would have to be worked out in order for this to become a reality. And, of course, there's the ick factor to overcome. Would you really want to be the recipient of stem cells plucked from the contents of a woman's monthly cycle? If it could save your life, I'll bet you would.

I do not know why is it that blood drawn from a woman and shed by a woman seen as so different. I am sure that if there was an option to just draw blood from the uterus and then use the stem cells, there would have been no problem. Here, the woman is just shedding it and giving an option of using it, and there seems to an ice factor associated with it! What is the problem, I just do not get it. 

Babycare - Online shopping

As a new mother, baby products are something which I have taken a keen interest to in the past month. And online shopping for non cloth items is something which I truly think is a great time saver. That led to my search for suitable online sites to order baby products from. I came across mainly three sites which are completely dedicated to baby, mom & child care products, which are

www.firstcry.com

www.babyoye.com

www.balgopal.com

I did some research on product range, prices and also their locations. I would be ordering the things from Trivandrum, so I wanted something which would be closer, to avoid any shipping delays. Here is what I found out from the internet research and I should also add that I finally ordered my requirements from firstcry.com.

firstcry.com

The website is well designed, no glitches and the range of products were immense. They have ongoing discounts on different sections and also the discounts were on fast moving items, and not on very expensive items alone. For example, I ordered diapers, and all their diapers were on 15% off. Baby wipes also had 6% off on the imported varieties. The delivery of the products took 4 days from the day of order and the products were in very good condition. They were packed in cardboard corrugated sheets n packed further in plastic wrap to prevent any damage due to moisture/rain etc.

babyoye.com

Here again, the website is well done, and the deals are sorted out on the first page itself. The only difference was that here, they took care to sort out the shipping details against each item. And for most items, the shipping time was 1-2 days if the order is placed by 6 pm. And added to that shipping is free for all orders. 

But, if I compare the prices of some products which I bought from firstcry with the same here, I see that the there is a slight variation in the discounts, making firstcry cheaper. Another fact which I noticed was that the variety of products might be the same across both these sites, but the range of options within a product line was better at firstcry.com

balgopal.com

This is a site which I came across during my search via mouthshut.com. I visited the site, and saw that they looked like a much more evolved website with a loyalty program etc. But, here I was not impressed with the product range they had to offer. Their products mainly comprised of toys, games and products for baby activity. General baby car items were limited in terms of products and brands.

All in all, I would give babyoye a shot as they claim to deliver in 1-2 days from order date, but firstcry still might win over if I am looking for something specific. 

Are there better options out there, which I have no clue about?

Are we self involved?

I was having a conversation with B about E-book readers and if they will make a strong advent into the Indian market. 

I have thought many times over about getting an E-book reader but there has never been a strong enough reason to go ahead and make the buy. I am not sure whether the Indian market will bring out that many varieties of e-books especially of Indian authors. I like to read some Indian authors as my usual light reads and those would be ones which I would like to read on the go on a E-book reader. The only place where you can download E-books that I know of is amazon.com, and I am not sure whether I would like to buy the Indian authors at international prices, when they are available in a book version much cheaper. 

The owners of most Kindles which I know are readers of international authors much more than Indian authors, and I guess that helps them make use of amazon very effectively. I am still not sure whether in due course, websites like www.flipkart.com and such would come out with e-books as a buying option?

What is your take on this?


Another interesting observation which came out of the conversation was that maybe we need to be more by ourselves, and we value our space so much more that we are looking for gadgets which will reduce our interactions with others to a great deal. Like when you have a E-book reader, then what are the chances we will go to a book shop to browse through titles. Well, even now I think I still do browse online more than in a book store. But, I will admit that the feeling is completely different. In fact B was of the opinion that blogging and facebook is also a reason why we as people are becoming more involved with ourselves and not social enough. I wonder whether we have the time to be involved and time to socialize so much. I guess its a matter of priority, we need to see that as a need, then it is bound to happen. 


Frankly speaking, I think I love blogging more as the people I have met on the blog have the time to share and interact, even though only through written words. But, is that really an issue, isn't it better than friends who we have lost touch with and have very limited FB interaction with? 

A festival misfit

I am not a great fan of festivals.

Hindu festivals mostly are drawn from mythology, and I treat that as a story ( an Indian fairy tale, if you may) and that I do not see how is supposed to be worshiped very devoutly. Its a time to gather, a common holiday for family to meet up in the craziness of the world, but anything more that, I am not too sure. This might also be the case as my parents have never lived in India, have never been a festival celebrating family also.

This is to the extend that, for us, Diwali was just another day, as both my brother and myself hated the sound/light of crackers and the smell of crackers too. We mostly just stood on the balcony looking at the sky for the far away rockets going up and were happy at the distant view. 

Pooja was looked forward to, as all books would be taken away from us on Ashtami night and there is just no work to do except play and enjoy. On Vijayadashmi, we would write ' Hari Shree Ganapataye Namah : ' and sit down to study for a few hours as a norm after taking the books back duly blessed.

Vishu is new year in Kerala, and on this day you just wear new clothes, and elders give money to all young for a good start to the year. Early morning on this day,  the first thing you are to see is the 'Vishu Kanni' which is all the good things in life, fruits, gold, money, rice, flowers, a mirror ....essentially a grand set up to ensure you see all the good stuff on the first moment of the new year.This again has really no religious significance, its just a celebration, a gathering and thats about it.

Then comes Onam, where we have never done anything, but eat a good meal. This was looked forward to, as living outside India banana leaves are a not a common appearance on the dining table, and eating on it is a luxury. The number of dishes prepared are phenomenal and the taste is just different on a banana leaf. But, again no religious significance whatsoever. This I am sure is not because we were outside Kerala, it is just the way things are in our family. And, I guess that's why I find it very difficult to associate a pooja of a particular deity with any festival as per mythology. I have just never ever known any of the stories, whatever I know is through my own curiosity. In fact, my parents never thought is important to pass on these pooja specifications and I guess they were also not interested in following it.

19th Commonwealth Games - Where is India headed?

The Wall Street Journal carried an article on the upcoming 19th Commonwealth Games and how under prepared India was just 70 days prior to the start of the event.

Full article link

On reading the article, especially the line "Recent efforts by world peers—China's 2008 Beijing Olympics, South Africa's just-concluded FIFA World Cup—will be hard acts to follow." all it showed was that how much ever the corruption, bureaucracy and likes affected these nation internally, when they are to face the world and prove themselves, both these countries did it. All said and done, the question remains, will India be able to do it?

Moreover, the work that has been completed does not meet standard and quality. A downpour had the false ceiling of the table tennis arena crashing! Work which will for sure take more then 2 months, are going to be finished ( hopefully) within 2 months. This will result in nothing but below par stadiums, swimming pools and such which shall deteriorate faster than they were completed.

With work moving at the present pace, I wonder how many sponsors do they plan on signing up. Except for Coca Cola, Hero Honda and Reebok, there isn't a single big name yet. Will a big brand sign up at the 13th hour? How will they advertise?

Above all, where is the metro headed to? It was to be completed by the Commonwealth Games, which is what I distinctly remember them saying, when they started work in 2005, and that was 5 years back!

A woman of 13

Just met a woman who was married when she was 13, and was a mother at 14.

Where do things stand now?

• She was advised by the doctors not have any more children due to an early childbirth.
• She went on to study and work as a lawyer.
• Her only daughter stays with her husband's parents, as they are the one's she is closest to and consider family.

I am not sure what I feel...

Child brides of Afghanistan

Here is the video released by the Human Rights Commission after the government has not be able to do anything worthwhile or take any action against these criminals. 

"I was shocked when I watched the video," said Mohammed Munir Khashi, an investigator with the commission. "I thought in the 21st century such a criminal incident could not happen in our country. It’s inhuman, anti-Islam and illegal."

If an investigator thinks that this is the first time it is happening, I am not sure what he is investigating! Why does he think the policemen at Herat return these two girls to be hands of the waiting warlord? Did they think they were doing something completely human, or completely in line with Islam preachings?

And now it seems there is another option too to threaten these girls with - forcing them to be suicide bombers

Sumbol, 17, a Pashtun girl, said she was kidnapped and taken to Jalalabad, then given a choice: marry her tormentor, or become a suicide bomber. “He said, ‘If you don’t marry me I will put a bomb on your body and send you to the police station,’ ” Sumbol said.

Forced marriage of Afghan girls is not limited to remote rural areas. In Herat city, a Unicef-financed women’s shelter run by an Afghan group, the Voice of Women Organization, shelters as many as 60 girls who have fled child marriages.  

Conserving water and efficient usage

Water water everywhere and not a drop to drink.

Everyone says this is what will be the situation in some days, unless something is done about the water usage today. There are innumerable sites and resources to read up on what and how things can be done to save water in a daily routine.

Mohan has hosted a contest on his blog on this topic, and this post is my entry for it.

I would like to list a few items which many a times are not thought of, and unknowingly many waste water through these actions.

1. How many of us think of water saving when you are out looking to buy a washing machine?

If you are out, I would suggest that a front loading one would be any day lighter on the water usage as compared to the top loading kind. They might seem more expensive at first, but using less water also means using less electricity to heat the water etc.

2. Many families I have seen wash clothes every other day, irrespective of the quantity of clothes. They decide its best to wash soiled clothes as soon as possible rather then keep them till a full load of the machine. And here they use the ½ load option to wash their cycle. What is not known is that a ½ load usually consumes around 65 % of the water as compared to the full load. This should not be too difficult to understand, considering the equipment was optimized for the full load capacity.

3. How many of you drop the cigarette butt or toilet tissue into the toilet bowl?

I have been told by many that, the toilet tissue should disintegrate and not cause any issue to the drainage network. But, why is it that we have never thought of the water that this extra bit of matter requires to be pushed around. And, this water does come from the same source that we are trying to conserve.

4. Many of us love gardens, so ensure that you water them during the early hours of the day to ensure the roots are able to absorb the water with least amount of water evaporating.

5. While wet cleaning any premise, watch out never to use the water hose as a replacement for a broom. We often face maids employing this method while washing out the bathrooms.

6. Another interesting aspect is many of us tend to wash vegetables and fruits under a running tap as opposed to filling a deep container with water and proceeding to washing the fruits and vegetables in that.

7. A friend of mine had an aquarium, and what he used to do was whenever he cleaned his aquarium, he emptied the water into a bucket and he would proceed to water the plants with it. The water in the aquarium is nutrient rich, and this being used to water plants, I thought, was a great idea!

8. In relation to pets, many a times when we give our pets fresh water, we throw the old water down the drain. Why? Why not use the same water to water plants!

9. There are numerous times we are sipping on the aerated drinks or cold coffee and all that’s left is the ice. We promptly chuck that into the closest dust bin. That’s great, but what would be greater is if we chuck the ice into a planter and then the cup into the dust bin.

10. In the garden, try to leave the dry leaves on the surface of the soil in the pots; this keeps the soil cool, prevents evaporation and over time will serve as manure too!

 

These are many things which I try to follow, not very difficult stuff, but I think on doing this, it shall certainly make a difference, in my small way. I hope there are some small things which you would have come to know in this post, and I hope you shall also try to do your bit!

Big cats are a beauty to behold!

And, with today's human lifestyle, there is very little they can do to keep away from us.

Is confining them to small reserves the solution? They were free roaming cats and they might move beyond the reserve fences which you have built.

Cheetahs live in open grasslands which many at times serve as grazing land for livestock. The farmers tend to shoot or kill them in any other manner, when they are found to be attacking the livestock. The Cheetah Conservation Fund, works for a sustainable, mutually beneficial relationship between these farmers and the cheetahs who share the same environment. CCF started its work in Namibia and has now started to extend to other parts of Africa too. They try to educate, and also provide feasible simple solutions to the farmers to try, such that they do not have to resolve to kill the cheetahs in case they are seen to trespass on private property.

Panthera is another organization which was set up with an aim to protect and enable symbiotic relationships between large cats across the world and the people who live near their habitat. Lions are the least affected amongst the cats, maybe because they are not seen to be of any great aesthetic value to the homes of the rich and famous. Good for them, they were spared.

In India too, I believe we need to understand the concerns of the villagers who live in and around the reserves. There has to be a reason why they do not care of the jungle and the animals that live in them, and I think a reason more than money should exist for it. At their position, money can be only a driving factor to an extend, I think there has to be a low understanding of how these animals are useful to them, and how they being in the jungle will serve to be more monetarily beneficial in the long run. 

I would not suggest that the monetary aspect alone be highlighted, but this can be a factor to create an urge within the villagers to protect the animals from poachers. I have seen in Kenya that there are many Masai villages just outside the reserve, and they charge a fee and take the tourists around their village and explain their way of life. This ensures an income for the villagers, but the tourists come in the first place all because of the wildlife in the Masai region. I am sure that every Indian village has abundant information to offer to tourists. Ours is  a country with varying practices across the states, and many of these draw their roots in practices in villages, which would be an interesting aspect for a traveller. These need to be cashed in on for the sake of the villagers and also the cats which live around these villages.

Cruelty to children: Child marriage in Yemen

I have been reading about Elham Madhin al Assi, a 12-year-old Yemeni girl who died from internal bleeding just three days after her March 29th wedding to a man who is a minimum twice her age. And this happened as part of a bride swap, where in the brother of the bride marries the sister of the groom, and this happens irrespective of the age of concerned individuals. I do not know what to feel when I see something like this.  Elham Madhin al Assi's mother is said to have told reporters, that the criminal killed her. What criminal? What did you expect? A man who is marrying a 12 year old is marrying her to shower her with dolls!!! I wonder if she is really bothered with her daughter not being alive anymore, and does she feel any remorse of what she did? Or even better, did she have a say in the matter? Maybe I am being too harsh on her, and the mother's role is just to explain to the daughter what is expected of her, and that sex is a subset of marriage, so please oblige!

This custom has been there since ages, and it is said to be acceptable as per Islam, where a parent has the right to determine when their children ( read daughters) are ready for marriage! It is also said that one main reason for the girls to be married off early is that, in many cases young girls are abducted and married by force, which leaves their parents not knowing their whereabouts ever again. The average age of marriage in Yemen’s rural areas is 12 to 13, a recent study by Sana University researchers found, and even more shocking is that the country has one of the highest maternal mortality rates in the world. And, I am sure that the mothers are also of the age group,  12 - 15 years.

How many of these kids can be expected to come out of their captive, abusive, illegal marriages and say that they want to study, and lead a life different from what they have been forced into without being asked. They are children, and not many of the children I see have it in them to stand up and say I shall not do this or to ensure that they are not made to do something which they are not interested in, especially when done so by their parents itself. Children see parents as the ones they trust the most, and believe, then how can they expect that a marriage, even if done without their consent, can be a disastrous life changing turn in their lives? Isn't it cruel to push them towards something which has seen only bad days, and to top it when they trust you so much!?

Food Labels: What we do and not read?

Today I came across a LinkedIn question posted by a user asking, ' Would warning labels on food make people eat better?' This was very interesting to me, as I wonder how many us read the nutrition facts table on the food packaging when we buy a product. Are we swayed by the claims which are made on the front of the pack? These package designs and writings are usually not approved by the government, and we as buyers usually accept the first thing which is staring at us, rather than making the effort to read the detailed ingredients and nutritional information.

Marketing products, coming up with new and innovative techniques, has been seen to be what every FMCG is looking to do. We find every product has a tag line which will vouch for taste, health or an international flavour. And these being in eye catching lovely colours do not make things any easier.

A new entrant in the vocabulary of shoppers is trans fat. Many products claim to be 0 % trans fat, but do they mention the saturated and unsaturated fats which are there in their products, and that too in substantial quantities. They conveniently put trans fat out there and claim it to be a dirt product.

Now the question is whether you will blame them, or would you blame yourself for not knowing what goes into your gut? 

26/11

Its been a year since Mumbai was under seige, and the citizens of this city rose up to fight and face danger bravely. We have not solved the mystery as to what happened at many points, and what went wrong to result in the bloodshed of 26/11.


Many might be responsible, far beyond those whose involvement have been brought to light. There are many to be held responsible for initiating and fuelling this terror attack, but not many of them have been brought under the noose of law. 


As we as a nation stand by Mumbaikars, we should be proud of the future Mumbai beholds. It has not fallen,as we have seen in the past year, but only risen and shall continue to rise in the coming years.


This is what Forbes says about Mumbai as the World Capital of the Future.