October 17, 2008

Beyond Arguing

Arguments usually are seen to have quite dire results, one way or the other. Which way would it go certainly depends on a variety of factors, and amongst them I think the most important is whether how close to your heart is the matter being discussed.

  • When things regarding which you have very set notions, or seem to have experience, always tend to make you overdo the ' I know this' a tad too much!
  • Then there are also some occasions when you happen to be very healthily arguing a matter and then you start to feel that the other person is only aimed at shooting down what you have to say! Its not about thoughts or about opinions, its just to prove ' one up' ! This certainly happens to put anyone in a foul mood and then you start to watch the retorts more than what you are saying, and eventually the matter of concern is soon lost.
I have come across some who always seem to maneuver arguments in manners which suit them the best. You say something and a completely different connotation is drawn on what you have said. And in spite of all that, when things do not seem to go their way, they move on to the jovial and ' passing it off' as a stupid conversation routine. When you ask them why they do this joking routine the moment things are not going in their favour, they promptly deny it, and pass along a statement about over reacting! ( I really am not over reacting!)

I am not too sure how I handle these things, well the fact is that I know I handle it terribly. And by terribly, I really mean terrribbly! I just stop the debate / argument and start doing something of my own, something which is usually so unrelated and unimportant that anyone would know that I am clearly irritated. This makes the other person usually pretty bugged, but then I can't be bothered with someone who has time to only listen to what they have to say and not hear something which might just make a wee bit of sense.

Well, it might also be that I am just not seeing the point, or the sense in the point what is being made, and hence that is why I find it maneuvering/twisting of words. At times things do make sense when seen in the wholly sense, but that is not what I would go by. I know that what you would like others to believe have to be right in the worldly sense, but then I am arguing what I believe, what I stand by. I believe that, the argument was started between us, then why dont we just stick with our opinions and view points, why do we tend to generalize to the world, everyone and what not?

I do not know what should be done about such occasions, it truly puts me in a foul mood, and following that I need to virtually pat and kiss myself to cool down....

Something I am very proud of myself for is eventually after a few days, I never ever remember these arguments I have with anyone... Its just a part of some happening on some day, and I have better things to think about now!


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  2. i wonder the same things that you do about arguments. am i closed to what the arguer has to say, or is the arguer really being unreasonably insistent on his/her point of view? as the saying goes: if you can't change what's around you, change how you react towards it. so whether you're right or wrong, you can choose the way you want to take something out of an argument, whether negative or positive. unfortunately, most of the time i choose the former! it just feels better to think that you're right after all. ;)


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