June 25, 2009

P & J

Whom would you term as possessive? or very possessive? or extremely possessive?

I was talking to a friend about how at times I think I am very possessive about my guy and if you ask me why, I really do not know!! It is not because I do not trust him, and not at all because I think he will do anything to hurt me, but the streak is just so in me and more importantly, I wonder if I should be working on reducing/ removing it.

Is it not good to be possessive? Maybe the 'very' and 'extreme' category can be said to be not good solely on the basis that 'too much of anything is bad', but shouldn't there be a trace of it for a healthy relationship? Or is it more healthy if there is no trace at all?

Something which my friend said was possessiveness has traces of jealousy in it, not too much, a small percentage always exists as per him. But, what if I do not know exactly what I am J about? For all I know I am just plain J with regard to time spend with me... well I guess that can also be termed as jealousy. So if possessiveness has J in it and J is considered a bad thing (in general) then possessiveness has tendencies of getting bad too, right? Now that does not seem like a good direction to be heading in. But on second thoughts, it can also depend on what is the major chunk apart from the J in possessiveness, right?.

In my case, that's a lot of love, maybe a slight abundance too which is not getting the time for expression and hence the cosmic transformation into these weird forms. They need to be stopped, I know.. and that means I need to charter these cosmic energies into something more useful (like shopping) or I need to start putting to better use the time that I have to result in better expression and which shall hopefully result in a decline in the P & J factors.

What say?


  1. aathira, i think a lil of P & J are ok! i mean, otherwise it just seems too bland and indifferent no?

    that's what i feel!

    how much is too much is very subjective...is anyone of u getting uncomfortable by this..then maybe it needs to be kept in check.

    hell, i wud be a bit dejected if my guy or even my friends weren't possesive about me!!!

    me too am possesive, i am not sure if that also leads to jealousy...

    but possesive, hell YES!

    "I need to charter these cosmic energies into something more useful"

    aathira, i've not heard anything more sensible than this in a long while!

    u go girl!!!! hope things are sorted!!! and shopping! yes yes, million times yes!!! go splurge!!!


    luvya! HUGS!!!

  2. never really gave this much thought......good point u raise. now im seriously thinking what is the difference between the two for me. how do i feel about each.....

  3. crafty He is not at all possessive :( so I do both our share!

    But I think too much of it is happening, so me need to step in and set things right, and as you said, with some nice shopping.

  4. Aathira, Take it from me. Being a little possessiveness in a relationship is good. Actually it is romantic. Mine stopped watching SRK movies because I used to chant SRK 24/7. Ha..ha..ha.. can anyone beat that? I so loved it. It was cute. Of course not anymore. Ha..ha..ha..

    These cutesie things during intial years of marriage is sweet.

    Of course the possessiveness factor shouldn't cross the line. The line is when you are possessiveness of him talking to even his/her family members and friends. Now I have seen that creating a lot of problem. Actually my cousin got divorced because of that. She couldn't take it anymore and within 1 year she separated. He was so overtly possessive that he hated her visiting her own family.

  5. i agree with what solilo said... i vouch by that infact i think if there is 0 possessiveness then the problem is that person is not ready to accept it because if there is love there is bound to be p :) ofcourse like all things excess of anything is bad

    hugs girl hope all is sorted soon

  6. i think lil possessiveness is ok! I am too!

  7. Thats such a sweet post Aathira :)

    You know what I think - Possessiveness comes from fear of losing someone and that fear comes from loving that someone to death.

    You are just head over heels in love with your guy :)

    Just make sure that you give him some space and don't get into fights because of this. Then All's well :)

    Those were my 2 cents.

    Take care,


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