It is very depressing when you sit in your house, stare at the walls and wonder what exactly has been happening with your life. And, moreover you do that because you have nothing better to be doing.
As sit and wonder everyday, I realize that there is an importance to doing something with your life. It is not about drawing an income, or neither is it about achievement. It is more to do with spending the time in your day doing a chore which means something other than mere passing of time. I say this because as I see it, the only thing which I seem to be doing is the latter, and it is not that I do not crave to do the former but I need to know what is the chore which I should be doing so that it does not result in spoiling the time after the chore is finished for the day. I do not know whether I make sense here but these are my thoughts and also a talk to myself on what I should be doing. I have not zeroed in on what but then these talks are supposed to be a revelation to myself.
On a different note, this was the conversation which I had with my brother.
He: Why do you want to work? And, especially if you are getting married, you can just stop and do all the other stuff that you wanted right?
Me: Well, the truth is, I do not think I will be happy in that case. I would not be sure as to how I would feel if I am completely dependent on someone for everything, other than my parents.
He: If you are getting married to someone, then what is the issue, you are anyways going to be dependent on each other for so many things, as a part of life.
Me: I know I will be dependent, but I do not want to think so much before getting myself a pair of shoes, or when I feel like making an impulse buy of a dress which I am not 100% sure whether I shall use.
He: I think you will have more important issues to be thinking about after marriage, other than shoes and dresses I mean.
Me: What do you mean? I can not dress up? Atleast, thats what I always make sure I do. I want to be a well dressed person, and just coz I am married I shall lose all interest in myself?
He: I never said you would, I am just saying you might have more pressing matters to attend to.
Me: What ever the matters are, I am sure I just want to be good presentable always. Anyhow, the point is I need to earn simply because I do not ever feel that I am splurging. I should feel I have these small rights to splurge when I feel like.
Very right concerns you have aathira... and being married never changes the person you are..sure you may make a few compromises on the way but you should always have the financial independence and the security of the thought that you can have resources to spend without anybody questioning you !!!!
ReplyDeletehuggssssssssss.
ReplyDeletei totally and absolutely agreee!!!
a job is not just a means of earning, its like a purpose and it helps us keep alive the little whims we like to have...while we may think it unfair to subject someone else to attend to that.
independence is never a bad choice, it shud be encouraged.
tho it may not be necessary to have a job to feel comeplete, but it marraige definitely need not bt the reason to give it up, nothing hshud be, if u don't want to!
hugs aathira! :) do cheer up!
Prashanti: The more I think about it, I feel somehow financial independence means so much to me. It is in fact something I never thought of seriously till now.
ReplyDeleteCrafty: I so agree. The aim in my life is to do those things which I like,and for that if I need the money, then I need to pave a path where I can get it from. A job, then so be it.
Hugss....and Thank you :)
My thoughts on this are a bit different than yours maybe because of the relationship that I share with my hubby. And we know that every relationship is different.
ReplyDeleteI do agree that women should work. I would like to get back to work too. But not because I do not want my hubby to question my spendings. For us, no matter whether he earns it or I earn it, its OUR money. We have to run a house together, save for the family together. So whether he gets extravagant with his spendings or I do, its finally OUR money that is getting affected. So we have always consulted with each other before making a big expense, and in the same way, I have never thought twice before buying an expensive pair of shoes because its 'his' money. There is no 'his' and 'mine', there is only 'Ours'. If I work too then I will be just adding to this money that is 'Ours' :) I can see a hundred other reasons that I would like to get back to work.
But then this is how it works for us, to each his own :)
ive been nodding my head through the entire post. been thinking about the same things. i think i agree that the job isnt just about the money or the independence it provides ....its about a purpose, a sense of direction your life has. i sometimes wonder if its fair that i did find that sense of purpose and now i have to move on and start from scratch.
ReplyDeletemy best wishes to you dear! first time reader here, came from Chandni's! May you soon find what you are looking for.
ReplyDeleteafter reading your post, i felt i am on a similar flight of thoughts lately... at the same time I am positive that with time, i will find the right direction. So for now i must enjoy the time i have... by doing things that I could not do with work life...
dunno what stage of life you are in at the moment but it feels nice to remember that it shall pass soon.. cheer up.
~Tara