Is it wrong to wish for something in this new year looking at all the wrongs that have been about the last year?
Does talking about the wrongs against women make you a feminist?
Recently, I had a conversation with B about feminism. This is a topic which has come up many times during our discussions and he believes that I look at all men with suspicion and never tend to give them a iota of benefit of doubt. The conversation in question came up after he read a status update on my Facebook timeline from a friend, who said she hoped this year will be better for women, and that women all over would become stronger and arise from the shackles which bind them.
He was of the opinion that if the women feel shackled, why should that be a matter of concern for men. They have not shackled them, then why blame men for it. And he feels that this is demeaning to many men that women write them off in such a bad manner. He feels that if women have it in them to become equals and do what they wish, then they should. Why associate it with men in anyway, as an enabler or a deterrent?
My take was that with regard to the statement, when there is so much going on in this world where women are at the receiving end, then why wouldn't those women who can speak up without being afraid to do that for those who can not. This does not mean that the women treat all men to be the same, but there is a certain caution which is associated with men in general after hearing about all these situations. Why shouldn't we help them in any which way we can? This might give someone the strength to fight and more importantly stand up. He was of the opinion why speak up then; if you wish to help, go out and help. That statement was received with a frown on my face, so that line of conversation was stopped.
Then it was why are all women feminists, and trying to uplift or speaking up only for women. He believes that giving mutual respect and independence is what feminism should be all about. This would be a valid point for not just women, but in essence, this is what he sees humanism as. I agree with it completely, but is our society at the juncture to accept something like this? I doubt it.
Do we see mutual respect and independence for so many people around us? There are people I know who have been so accustomed to having everything being done for them, now when they want/have to do something by themselves, it seems to be difficult, or rather more like they have forgotten how to do it. One of the things I really appreciate in B is that he pushes me to get out and do my own stuff. I usually complain and try to avoid it, but I know that he is doing it for my very own good. And I really appreciate it when I look back at the situation after the said situation has passed.
As a reader, do you think there is really any use of online activism? Or is it just for the noise ?
Does talking about the wrongs against women make you a feminist?
Recently, I had a conversation with B about feminism. This is a topic which has come up many times during our discussions and he believes that I look at all men with suspicion and never tend to give them a iota of benefit of doubt. The conversation in question came up after he read a status update on my Facebook timeline from a friend, who said she hoped this year will be better for women, and that women all over would become stronger and arise from the shackles which bind them.He was of the opinion that if the women feel shackled, why should that be a matter of concern for men. They have not shackled them, then why blame men for it. And he feels that this is demeaning to many men that women write them off in such a bad manner. He feels that if women have it in them to become equals and do what they wish, then they should. Why associate it with men in anyway, as an enabler or a deterrent?
My take was that with regard to the statement, when there is so much going on in this world where women are at the receiving end, then why wouldn't those women who can speak up without being afraid to do that for those who can not. This does not mean that the women treat all men to be the same, but there is a certain caution which is associated with men in general after hearing about all these situations. Why shouldn't we help them in any which way we can? This might give someone the strength to fight and more importantly stand up. He was of the opinion why speak up then; if you wish to help, go out and help. That statement was received with a frown on my face, so that line of conversation was stopped.
Then it was why are all women feminists, and trying to uplift or speaking up only for women. He believes that giving mutual respect and independence is what feminism should be all about. This would be a valid point for not just women, but in essence, this is what he sees humanism as. I agree with it completely, but is our society at the juncture to accept something like this? I doubt it.
Do we see mutual respect and independence for so many people around us? There are people I know who have been so accustomed to having everything being done for them, now when they want/have to do something by themselves, it seems to be difficult, or rather more like they have forgotten how to do it. One of the things I really appreciate in B is that he pushes me to get out and do my own stuff. I usually complain and try to avoid it, but I know that he is doing it for my very own good. And I really appreciate it when I look back at the situation after the said situation has passed.
As a reader, do you think there is really any use of online activism? Or is it just for the noise ?
I am starting to doubt that messages about women or women's freedom (among others) online is more faff than fruitful. If the writer has done something about women's right in action, then it makes sense to also write about it. These messages in FB are along the lines of 'Click like to save the baby' - completely pointless.
ReplyDeleteVery rarely do women, who are oppressed are on FB, They are your maids, construction workers, garment factory workers etc. Take some time out of your busy schedule to talk to your maid and you would know she has a drinking/cheating husband, invariably all of them do.
So, as for your question, online activism has no meaning unless it is coupled with real action. Awareness is not the problem, action is.
A part of me believes that blogs like The indianhomemaker (http://indianhomemaker.wordpress.com/) show how the online women of India are also subjected to so much injustice. And they can fight with a little help. Maybe it is easier to help them as we speak the same language. Maybe the maids will just feel you are speaking in a complete tangential with no relation to their life. But, these women who resort to online help, can be helped by speaking up. That is why I think it is important to speak about things and help these women.
DeletePerhaps what Vedha says is right... however, by these online views of women that men read... I am sure many times acts as a catalyst in broadening the male mind!
ReplyDeleteI do believe that there are some women who are in the online world who also face injustice and need help. Why not speak up for them?
DeleteSomewhere I feel online acitivism is only reaching out to men who already endorse feminism. There are a lot of things on internet today, and we only pay attention to those that interest us..and ignore the rest.
ReplyDeleteThis is what happens when people raise feminist issues online
Why are we trying to prove anything to the men? Maybe we are just trying to re-instate confidence in women and help them break out!
DeleteHad a similar conversation with a male friend of mine sometime back. He was also opinion, 'who is holding the women back?' Many of the men in our lives have a cosmopolitan upbringing. It may not be as easy for men and women who are brought up in the traditional manner to break free from what society expects them to be.
ReplyDeleteAs for online activism, what I feel is, if it inspires one person to change, that in itself is worth it. But for the social media, we all know what the plight of a Nirbhaya case or the Mumbai girl would have been. These cases would have inspired at least a few girls to fight back. All great things happen by taking one step at a time :)