Criticize ?

Ever so often, how very easy it is to criticize someone. When we start to look back and compile all the wrongs done, then we go on a spree on adding all the mistakes which we see and it doesn't cross our mind that crticizing also has to be such that the person appreciates it. It isn't the fault of either party but usually the moment transforms us into one side which is rattling the brain to find all the small details which we tagged as fault, and the other side which is hell bent on proving that the situation would not have called the act as a fault. This becomes a fight between the accuser and the defender. When we talk about any situation why is it that we do not try to stick to the fault at hand but rather try to assimilate all such similar situations. We do it I believe to make the matter at hand more important and help the person understand what we are talking about, and as per us, we are just giving examples to re-emphasize the fact. I feel that this is where we step over from positive criticism to negative criticism. Whatever you might wish it to be, but unless it is taken in the light its expected to be, there lies no hope in driving your point across to the other party. Beyond this I believe we can only hope that our original fact isn't misunderstood !