Second time around...

It was not much of a question whether we wanted to go ahead and have a family of 4. I think both B and me were always clear, that is something which we wanted, though you would hear it from him that he had to coax me into it. And I will strongly say, that ain't true.

But when I look at these past months, this pregnancy has been really different from last time. For one, I would classify as being affected by morning sickness for sure. I had these certain smells which I just could not handle. And I had a clear dislike for roti and dal. I just never wanted to have anything apart from rice. I think I could have survived on rice for easily 2 meals a day, but I diligently avoided it, knowing how I am susceptible to piling on the kilos if I ever fell into that trap.

And the tiredness which hit me like a wave, was just something I never expected in the first trimester. I was usually in bed sleeping for 1-2 hours after T and B left for the school and office respectively. And then lugging myself out of bed and getting into office was a task in itself. But, then maybe I just felt all the more tired coz when I was with T, I didn't really give into thoughts about how I was feeling. But, tired I was for sure!

And come second trimester, I was again in for some aches and pains. And invariably, the pains only arrived when it was time to get into bed. This ensured a tossing and turning and looking at the phone kind of sleep, which was really not great! And I really don't remember being miserable like this with T. She gave me intense calf cramps, but then that was it. Here I was faced with more aches and pains than I knew.

And now, at 37 weeks, all I have is aches and pains, and more aches and pains. Everyday is a  new ache and again not something which I knew would be so different from the first time around. I have aches where I did not even know an ache is possible exclusively, but now I know better! And, all my internet reading points me in this direction, that every subsequent time one is pregnant, the aches only increase! Now, this research I never did before the decision making stage... don't think would have affected the decision, but still...

And now as I do the waiting bit, I wonder how different will labour be first and second time around... Quicker, more intense is what reading says, and that doesn't do much good, just makes me gulp down and clench my fists all the more. I was a crying sobbing mess the first time around, and I certainly hope I can set a better record this time!