You cannot always get what you want.

3 months back, there were many thoughts running in my head regarding relationships and how it seems to be getting the better of me. It seems to render me neither happy nor content, but tensed and resulting in a dull aching pain at my temples.

As Rolling Stones said - You cannot always get what you want.

Then, what do you do?

If you are faced with a situation which gives you immense pain, but you are choosing to accept this situation then how do you ensure that you are happy irrespective of the situation?

You choose to look at the pain as transient and decide that instead of assuming the many facts, just try to find the happy areas for you. And that is what I have tried to do also. Look into myself and find those pockets which truly make me happy. And keep the rest as requirements to be met. It seems like a project to me, much less a life. Having said that, if it does help in bringing in my peace and tranquility, why not?

I am a person who tries to avoid confrontation, and that is not a good trait, I already know it. And many times, the letting it go, ends up at immense frustration or an eruption of sorts which might run back to the original problem which I was anyhow trying to avoid.

Talking of not good traits, one of the other wrongs that I see within myself is the blaming myself attitude. I think if someone complaints of a problem, I seem to take it personally. This is not going to get me to solve the problem, nor is it going to help me have a neutral/ good relationship with the person involved. This again goes back to building unhappiness within me.

How do I solve these issues?

It is a very complex issue in my head, and I wonder whether I can solve them without changing a host of things within me. I keep thinking of these things, and when nothing comes out of all the thinking I am at a loss to how to change myself to suit the needs of my daily life.

Truly a loss of time and thought.

AWS Cloud Practitoner Study Guide

Recently I completed the AWS Cloud Practitioner Certification, and I am mighty proud of picking this up and seeing it to completion. More so, as I have always been the one to be far away from the technical bits of technology and keep in line with only the business highlights. And somewhere down the line, I realized that there needs to be a more deeper understanding of what I am moving into. With the everlasting buzz of work, I needed an approach which would give me a clear path and an understanding of how technology is moving ahead and the why behind it all. 

Here I shall detail how you can go about pursuing this certification in a thought-out, logical approach.

Step 1: Read the exam guide. It is very short, and frankly you should start off by understanding where you are headed. This is your goal. One of the key things to remember is that there are 2 kinds of questions in this exam, multiple choice and multiple answer.The multiple answer questions will have only 2 valid answers though.

Step 2: If you have no background in AWS, or very limited knowledge about regular AWS terms, then start off with the Business Professional course. This gives you a birds eye view of the entire world of AWS, starting off from regions and AZs to VPC and subnets. You are required to create a certification account in AWS and then register for this course. Once you complete this course, this also gives you a digital certificate confirming you as a AWS Business Professional.

Step 3: TCO and Cloud Economics. One of the key aspects of the cloud is the Total Cost of Ownership and how you can trade your capital expenses for variable. How can you perform a detailed TCO analysis, and how do Cloud Economics work. This course can be found at the second position under recommended progression within the Business Professional path. 

Step 4: Once you have an overview of the AWS world, now move on to the Cloud Practitioner Digital course. This is a free course, which you can register for, in the same way as you did for the Business Professional course, using your certification account. 

Step 5: Now, take a look at the sample questions which are provided by AWS in relation to this exam. This will detail out the level of questions which can be expected for the exam.

Step 6: As a final step for preparation, there are 5 whitepapers which AWS suggests in the exam guide, and these whitepapers cover specific areas of the course content. These might take a while, as they are detailed, so in case you want to start reading these during your digital course, that could save some time. Or you can do this parallel to the sample exams so that they work as revision and re-affirmation of concepts.

Step 7: Sample Exams - I used a set of 6 sample exams from Udemy by Neal Davis, which worked for me to revise and check on my weak areas. There might be various sources which can be used in this step, so any inputs here can be added on as comments to this post.

Hope this helps, and if you need any specific information, drop a comment..

A Murky Path

In any relationship, there is a period of adjustment, how much ever you wish for two people to accept each other, or for two people to be perfectly sculpted for each other.

The question is how long does this period of adjustment last? When do you realize that some things will never change, and might just always be the same? There are some facets which are so ingrained that they are difficult to change. They might over a long period, and in some, they might never change. Would it be wise to just wait for that change or accept that this is the way it is.

And if you decide to accept the inevitable, as it might seem to you... are you completely accepting the inevitable? Or you are just choosing to ignore till you find an alternative? And would it be one of those things which you will keep repeating every chance you get.. ' I have accepted, then why can't you?'

This brings us to the question, "Can you really accept? "


There are many thoughts which have been tormenting me, and to know what is the true solution, and not to just deflect the situation.

Is it right to either of the two involved to be in such a relationship?

One who is never happy and one who is told innumerable times about how things are not right.

Book Review - Shrill: Notes from a Loud Woman by Lindy West

As always, I was wary of an autobiography, and moreover of a writer, who is known for her comedy. She had also done stand up comedy... now I was so unsure whether this is my kind of book! This was the book club pick, and I always try to read all the picks just so that I am exposed to different genres and I am not stuck in my own rut of Literary fiction, historic fiction etc.

Source: Lindywest.net

Shrill by Lindy West. I had never heard of the author, or read any of her columns, but I googled and read up about her and what she writes about. Her writing style was very direct, conversational and moreover like how you would hold a dialogue with a friend. I decided to pick the Audible version as I was still not convinced that I will get myself to read the complete book if it was on Kindle. Looking back, it was a good decision; I was listening very intently to Lindy speaking to me and somehow the reading was so much better than how I would have read to myself. Her speaking style and personality reflected in the reading which added great depth to the words.

Women, fat, rape, abortion, marriage, love - So many topics and I am sure every woman would have gone through  some of these comments and unnecessary interference in their life. Hell, men even have an opinion on whether you should wear a bra or not! Whether you should cover up your arms or not! They seem to have an opinion on all things women, and take it upon them to comment, suggest, solve our problems and show us the path which is the best! The best path which suits them.

As I listened to the book, I was nodding along on many instances when I recalled how life always hands out those typical misogynist views to everyone and it doesn't really matter whether you are petite or fat, rich or poor, educated or not, in fact nothing really matters. And when it came to the numerous rape jokes and how Lindy tried explaining to the men around, from the producers to viewers why it was important to not trivialize serious issues such as rape... I was still nodding alone, as this is what you see everyday across media, news sites or Twitter/Facebook. The world keeps saying that these things are just being made a big deal about. The world says that this has always been the case, always been what has been happening, just that social media has made a platform to bring all this to the forefront. But, does that make it right or fine or not to be bothered with? The question about intrinsic right or wring was not the question here, it was more of why bother about it, since everyone is aware.

This was a book which I was not sure whether I would like, but it proved me completely wrong. It has all the right elements to make us sit up and see what is happening around, and to think that this woman has been fighting it for so long. She says there have been small changes, but when is a true big change coming?

When will that happen? Or will it take a lifetime to see that change?

Rating: 5/5

Book Review: Less by Andrew Sean Greer

Less by Andrew Sean Greer, as everyone would have heard of it by now, a satirical comedy which has won the Pulitzer prize. Coincidentally, it was picked by the book club I am a member of, as the first book for 2019. I am not the usual Pulitzer reader, and in fact i stay away from them from fear of not understanding the essence of a story without repeated back and forth! And, in this regard, I must add, this was a pleasant surprise. I could pick it up, read and get back to it on the go making it a perfect weekday read.

A not so great author, being pushed to take up many engagements, all against his will. But, a path he must walk down because his love is walking down another path with another man. It seems that there is so much going on in his head, so much to complain about and look back upon. As I look back it is one my first books where the protagonist is a homosexual, but that is not one of the highlights of the book. There is very little which is specifically around his orientation, it is more of his mind and the thoughts that run through. His continuous urge to get away from and keep no contact with anyone who can possibly give him information of the fated marriage of his love is the primary focus.

As I read the book, there were many instances when I related strongly with the protagonist. He questions the very essence of relationships, much like how I wonder how marriage functions as a practice. How is it feasible that two every evolving pieces stick around together for years. 10 years seem to a good enough time, but beyond that seems very questionable. This has been my vice with marriages also, but sadly this isn't something I thought through before. This 10 year ideology made perfect sense for me and helped me see how human beings change through time. And changing people mean they need not change in an ever aligned manner, but as different beings, completely moving away from each other. Very pertinent questions!

The writing style was one which I did find difficult to follow, not very frequently though. At times with the quick period jumps, it left the reader scrambling to get the pieces connected. One minute you are in a house party somewhere in Paris, and the next minute you are far back in your house trying to figure out why your current marriage is not going to work. We move through a marriage, cheating, spending time by oneself, not speaking of feelings and then regretting all that not expressing.

But at the end of the book, a happy ending was not what I was looking for. It felt too perfect and one which I was not too happy about. And that alone would be the reason why I would not rate it a perfect five!

Rating: 4 /5