There are some days when I am at a all new low, and thinking about things which I never knew mattered to me so. At times, I do not understand myself, I think that the person I want to be and the person I am are two completely different entities, and I exist somewhere in between, at that chiasma.
Questions on whether the way I wish to be is even the right way to be, has also crossed my mind. Many of these thoughts can be dropped into the ' vain' box, and this makes me think that I am somehow better off at present. But, this not the happy me either, and I know I am no saint who does not get pulled in different directions by worldly ongoings. Which leaves me where? I do not know. The way I see it, I should be working towards achieving those which I wish for, and move into that schema to actually see whether it does render any happiness, or is that also just a mere perception of the mind.
And, along comes those instances, when you look at yourself in pity and ask how could you garner importance of this nature to these things. There are so many things in this world to live for, beyond all these matters which seem extremely petty at the moment. This is indeed knowing the fact that, come a day and I shall be back looking at those things which I wish for, and charting out the routes to attain them.
Where do I really stand?
What is really worth? If I do achieve what I wish for, do I really stand to be happy?
Questions on whether the way I wish to be is even the right way to be, has also crossed my mind. Many of these thoughts can be dropped into the ' vain' box, and this makes me think that I am somehow better off at present. But, this not the happy me either, and I know I am no saint who does not get pulled in different directions by worldly ongoings. Which leaves me where? I do not know. The way I see it, I should be working towards achieving those which I wish for, and move into that schema to actually see whether it does render any happiness, or is that also just a mere perception of the mind.
And, along comes those instances, when you look at yourself in pity and ask how could you garner importance of this nature to these things. There are so many things in this world to live for, beyond all these matters which seem extremely petty at the moment. This is indeed knowing the fact that, come a day and I shall be back looking at those things which I wish for, and charting out the routes to attain them.
Where do I really stand?
What is really worth? If I do achieve what I wish for, do I really stand to be happy?
